One image after another in rapid succession, without hope of relief or reprieve. Separate but there. Desperate. Keep it up. Keep going that way until. There’s nothing. No one in here. Nothing but death.
It’s like dying, but on the inside where it seems safer. Where no one can see — but they do see. It’s darkness, and nothing can hide it. Escape. Go.
Run away from light, pleasure, all things. Be nothing but nothing. And then
Smile and say you’re fine. And think you’re fine. And know you’re fine. And will be fine. And live a fine life.
Someone, unconvinced, looks in. He sees you. And calls you false.
It would mean nothing if he’d just leave. Say what he says and then be done with you. Next. But he won’t — ever — you’ll press and test and find that he never believes your fake smile. or accepts your attempts to absolve him from doing more than he must do.
Must do says ok, you’re well. Thanks for the payment. See you in a week. We’ll do this, work through that, everything light, and good, and better. Must do.
When the time allotted bleeds beyond the allotted time — must do taps a time card and leaves.
Without saying, I say someone stay with me.
And at arms length all way round, I am still welcomed. Cared for. Cared for.